Category: Couples
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Admire Your Partner’s Goodness
Validating the image-bearing qualities of your life partner with your words fills them with life. Dr. Mark DeYoung The Challenge A significant concept in the Gottman Sound Relationship model for marriage includes sharing fondness and admiration with your spouse. A flame of appreciation needs to burn within the marriage. A marriage faces trouble when the…
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Present and Here
Two small but powerful words – Part 2 Last month’s blog, Present and Hear, was Part 1 of this two-part series. We specifically explored the word “present.” Being present was defined as a “continual openness to connecting.” It is an attitude of the heart that takes risks to preserve connection in the relationship. “You don’t…
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Present and Here
Two small but powerful words – Part 1 I am often asked what sets my book, Revolutionary Marriage, apart from other books on marriage. I did want to write a book that offered a fresh view of Christian marriage. Though I introduce many unique ideas in the book, I want to focus on two ideas…
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Humility Goes a Long Way in Marriage
What makes you valuable? I often say in therapy that we all have a unique set of skills, talents, and abilities. When we share an intimate life with our marriage partner, we get the unique vantage point and blessing to see and experience all those skills, talents, and abilities. Yet, for all we bring to…
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It’s Time to End Male Spiritual Leadership
I stopped attending Christian men’s conferences over ten years ago. The increasing hype, dopamine rush energy, and teaching left me feeling empty. Unfortunately, things have not improved (Read about a recent debacle at a Missouri men’s event here). During events like this, men frequently hear messages about being male spiritual leaders in their homes. My…
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30 Day Gratitude Journal
Gratitude is an essential ingredient for personal mental health and relational stability. This month, Dr. DeYoung wants to offer you a 30-day prompt for gratitude in your marriage. Each prompt is meant to generate a thought or feeling of gratitude. Don’t be too alarmed by the word “Journal” because the writing expectations are minimal. Each…
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Breath – The Pause for Connection
In marriage therapy work, one of the listening and connection skills we practice is sharing our feelings/experiences and validating our partner’s experiences. This is a fundamental building block of relationships, and it can lead to significant communication complications when it breaks down. Let me give you some examples of how it can break down. Husband…
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Being a Gift for Your Spouse
Gifts are the language of the holiday season. Meaningful gifts are often unexpected, meet a particular need, and communicate a message of value or importance. We love giving and receiving gifts because they are founded on love and sacrifice. The Christmas season celebrates God, offering himself as a gift in the incarnated Christ. In this…
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Marriage Therapy Outcomes
Dr. DeYoung did an analysis of all his work with couples for the past 10 years. It includes work with over 250 couples and just under 4000 hours of therapy with couples in that time. Couples who commit to therapy beyond three meetings with Dr. DeYoung have an 88% success rate for therapy. On average…
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Therapy in Bare Feet
We have developed a significant comfort level with telehealth options for our medical and mental health care. My private practice has shifted from providing in-home therapy to meeting with clients solely via encrypted and secure video. Following the pandemic, I found this method highly effective, convenient, safe, and practical for couples and families. Doing so…